Epistle of Love
by was-p.s.y.r.k
Summary: *FINISHED* This happens immediately after seisouhen *spoiler alerts* A question remains.. will 15 years apart prevent them from rekindling an old flame? r/r pls.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Whatever I do I will never own rk, all of the chars and stuff belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki, et al  
Author's notes: This happens immediately after Seisouhen. This is my first fic ever so pls. bear with me. R/R pls ^__^  


..::Prologue::..

  
"Kaoru! Kaoru-san!" Megumi and Tsubame called out together.  
  
_Where could she be..  
she'll get worse if she keeps on doing this._  
  
"Tsubame-chan you look for her there.." Megumi pointed downtown. "I'll head to the port." She instructed Tsubame.  
  
"Hai!Megumi-san."  
  
"Be careful" She said to the girl as they separated ways.  
  
On the way to the port, something made her stop. "The Sakuras.." she watched as each petal danced gracefully with the wind. She watched them lovingly for they reminded her of the good times she's had, like when she and the whole Kenshin-gumi used to watch the Cherry blossoms together. "If only we could go back to those days.." She sighed.   
  
The sound of a ship docking brought her back to her senses."I almost forgot Kaoru-san.." she was gonna go back searching when she saw something she didn't notice before. Two people were sitting under the Cherry blossoms. This aroused her curiosity so she went a little closer to the couple.   
  
"My goodness! It's Kaoru! And..and.. can it really be?.." _Ken-san! He's back!_  
  
Tears started to gather in her eyes as she ran towards them.  
  
"Kaoru-san.."she said panting.  
  
Kaoru looked up at her, smiling. "Megumi-san, it's gone! It's finally gone!" Kaoru said excitedly as tears fell from her eyes.  
  
Megumi's brows formed a knot, she can't understand what Kaoru was saying. Kaoru ,seeing this, pointed to Kenshin's left cheek.  
  
"The scar.." Megumi whispered. The scar which was always there, the constant reminder of Kenshin's dark past, was gone.  
  
"Hai,he.. he finally atoned his sins." Kaoru said in between sobs.  
  
Megumi nodded. _Finally, they can be happy._  
  
She knew she should be happy for Kaoru and Ken-san, but something was bothering her. _Something's wrong._  
  
She looked at Kenshin again. What she saw made her gasp. "He's not breathing!"  
She rushed to his side and checked his vital signs. She didn't need her instincts to tell her there was nothing more she could do.. Kenshin was dead.  
  
The tears now trickled down her cheeks as she looked at Kaoru questioningly. _How come you are still smiling?_  
  
"He's finally free of the guilt that burdened him all his life" was Kaoru's only reply.  
  
Megumi was still confused but she knew Kaoru was right, Kenshin was probably happier now, wherever he is. He is at peace.  
  
The two women cried, the emotions they felt where of bliss and of mourning.   
  
~~  
More notes: I have finished the second chapter already but I'm thinking of rewriting it ^^` 


	2. Chapter 1

**..::Chapter 1::..**

  
  
Barely a week has passed since they have said their final farewells to their beloved Kenshin. The grief they still felt was in contrast to the beautiful spring atmosphere that was all around them. It seemed to them a painful irony, to lose a much loved someone in the season where everywhere, everything grows and new lives emerge.  
  
But as seasons are bound to change, they knew that they too had to move on.  
  
And no one has realized this more than Megumi. She went back to work the day after the funeral. To some this may have seemed like a cold thing to do, but she had no choice, other people's well-beings were at stake. A lot of people depended on her and so she cannot be selfish as to let her mourning, no matter how much she needed it, interfere with her responsibilities as a doctor. She is a doctor first, a woman and even maybe a human, second.  
  
She knew she should not let anything distract her from her work. But these last few days, her mind was anywhere but the clinic. She was having a constant battle against herself; all the emotions she felt were in turmoil. And a stupid little letter that Kaoru said Kenshin wanted her to receive was causing all of these.   
  
She couldn't understand why she was having all these trouble in the first place. Ever since Kenshin and the others offered her a new life she had made herself a woman in control, and no one or nothing had really been able to distraught her ever since.. well, maybe except for _him_.   
  
"Him.." She caught herself making an inaudible whisper.  
  
_Darn Megumi! How long do you plan to torture yourself? You went to Aizu to forget him, escape him and everything that reminds you of him! A lot of years have passed since you were finally able to accept the terrible fact that you can never be with him. Years before you can finally bring yourself to go back here, and now you're going to throw all those years away because he wrote you a little letter!_ She scolded herself.  
  
_A letter of w/c he only thought of writing now, after you were finally beginning to move on._ She thought bitterly.  
  
_But you want this letter, and you know it, you still want him, otherwise you wouldn't be this much troubled._ A little voice in her seemed to whisper.  
  
_That is not true!_ She reasoned.  
  
_Really, and I suppose you really don't care about him anymore, right?_  
  
The voice continued to taunt her..  
  
_You ask of how long you plan to torture yourself.. well, I'll answer that for you..  
The pain you feel will only stop when you stop denying the truth.. _  
  
_What truth?_  
  
_That you still love him.._  
  
"Uso da!"  
  
"What is it Megumi-sensei?" the patient whose wounds she was cleaning was surprised at her sudden outburst.  
  
"Anou.. it's nothing. Gomen." She said. Megumi was as surprised as he was. She realized she was still at the clinic. And that she was cleaning the same wound for about 5 mins now. The young man she was tending was her last patient. And she was thankful for it, she felt really burned out already. She wanted to go home as soon as possible.  
  
_Baka Megumi! Look at what's happening to you!_ She told herself angrily.  
  
It took her about 10 minutes more to finish bandaging the young man.  
"That would be all for today. Come back in a day or two so I can make sure that the wound won't open or get infections" she said as cheerfully as she can, trying to hide the exhaustion she felt.  
  
"Hai! Arigatou, sensei." The man said as he gave her a polite bow. And Megumi bowed to him in return. "Douitashimashita."  
  
***  
  
She was finally able to leave the clinic at around 10 pm. She finished some of the files she needed to work on after she had closed the clinic.  
  
She was now on her way home. She was walking rather slowly, barely noticing the things around her. She was again engrossed in her thoughts as she clutched something close to her heart.  
  
Before she left earlier, while she had been gathering her things, she saw it again, on top of her desk. The letter was there lying idly on the table; she has obviously forgotten that she had left it there earlier. She wondered if someone had seen it or even read it. She unconsciously picked it up. She decided to read it one last time. She wanted to throw it afterwards.  
  
But the letter triggered something in her. This time, it wasn't another inner struggle.  
  
  
  
***  
  
She suddenly went back to her last few years in Kyoto. The time when the Kenshin-gumi was still the Kenshin-gumi. When they all were still together. The years she treasured the most.  
  
She saw each of them again and everything that happened between them in a flash. The birthdays, festivals, Tanabatas, even the battles they fought in those final years. Everything went by as fast as a train would in an empty field.   
  
But her memories slowed down on a _particular_ night.   
An evening she vividly recalled.   
  
It was then when the night sky was clear and starless, and everything around her seemed to have been quiet and sleeping. She was at the clinic again, working late for the nth time that month. She remembered making a number of medicines at the back before she decided it was time for her to go home.   
  
When she went out, she was surprised to see someone leaning at the frame of the main door.   
  
She continued to walk towards the door, stopping only a few meters away from him.  
  
He seemed to have been waiting for her..  
  
But it was so late; she wondered what he could need at this time of night.   
  
"Yo!" He said in his usual manner. He was still leaning at the door but this time he was facing her.  
  
"What is it you want this time?" she asked him trying to sound irritated.  
  
No answer.   
  
A long time passed with the two of them just standing there looking at each other. An atmosphere of silence and awkwardness was forming.  
  
He seemed to have been hesitating about something.  
  
Her brows formed a knot and her lips formed a slight frown.  
  
_What is this all about? Why is he acting this way? This is so unlike.._  
  
But her thoughts were cut of by his sudden release of breath. He suddenly moved towards her. She didn't know why but there was something different about the way he walked and moved tonight. It almost made her nervous.  
  
He stopped when he was only an inch away from her. He then leaned, placing his forehead in hers. She was looking directly at his huge brown eyes. Now she was REALLY nervous. What was he thinking!  
  
She wanted to say something but she decided that she would hear him out. She was seeing something different in his eyes. He must've got a good explanation for his actions.  
  
He sighed again. He felt his warm breath on her face. She was really beginning to feel uncomfortable.  
  
"I just want to do this while I still have the chance." He finally whispered. He cupped her face with his right hand, and then he raised her chin up a little bit.   
  
She froze on the spot. She didn't what to do. She wanted to whack him and bring back some sense to him but she.. though she would never admit it.. liked it.  
  
She saw he was a bit surprised she didn't do anything to stop him. She felt that he was expecting her to slap him.   
  
But she also felt that he was **still** gonna do this even if she did slap him.  
  
Rubbing her cheeks with his thumb, he leaned further gently brushing his lips with hers. This made her tingle all over.   
  
She knew what he was going to do and she was not going to do anything to stop him.  
  
She simply closed her eyes as their lips finally met. At that moment everything seemed to have melted.  
  
***  
  
He was passionately kissing her. And to her surprise she was eagerly responding to him.   
  
As their kissing grew more intense, the more she felt like she wanted it. As if she had been always waiting for him to do it.   
  
_Can it be?_  
  
She was asking herself a question she had been trying to avoid for a long time now.   
  
_Do I have feelings for him?_  
  
She wondered if the feelings, which she has always ignored, had been true and real all along. She was so confused. But she decided she was going to ponder on it a little later, she was becoming more engrossed in their passionate encounter.  
  
A few more minutes passed before they finally ended it. He slowly lifted his lips, panting a little, as he placed it on her ear, softly whispering the two words she had never thought he could and would say.  
  
_Ai shiteru_  
  
He slowly drew back from her, and then he turned around and started to walk away. She followed him with her eyes. He stopped when he was almost out the gate. He turned around one last time, saying something that she will never forget, before finally leaving.  
  
"I'll never love another woman as deeply as I love you"  
  
  
  
***  
  
After that night her life was never the same. It was the night Sanosuke left Japan. For good, as she heard others say.   
  
She hated him after that.  
  
She had hated him for leaving her with a promise that she may never let go of. She hated him for making her hope. She hated him for making her wait for him year after year.  
  
And she hated him for making her realize that she loved him when he knew they might never see each other again.   
  
The more she remembered, the more the emotions she had tried so hard to kill burned. Tears fell from her eyes though she thought she had no more left after Kenshin's death.  
  
She was now almost running. Everything around her was a blur. She desperately wanted to go home and sleep, for sleep maybe the only thing that may shelter her from her feelings, from him and from herself.  
  
She was relieved when she caught sight of her house.   
  
But what she saw inside her gates made her stop dead in her tracks. The letter she was gripping so hard only moments ago had already slipped from her hands and had fallen to the ground.   
  
Just then a cold wind blew, carrying the crumpled piece of paper inside her yard.   
  
It landed on the soft earth.. inches from where he was standing.  
  
~~~  
  
I rewrote this whole chapter completely. What do you think? Are Meg and Sano OOC or something? Please tell me what you think. I'll be making the next chapter, hopefully in a few days. ^__^ 


	3. Chapter 2

**..::Chapter 2::..**

  
  
Megumi was on the verge of a serious breakdown and his sudden appearance wasn't helping at all. She wanted to run away but his mere presence has rendered her weak.  
  
She just stood there, holding back her tears.   
  
As she saw him bend to pick up the letter, she went inside the gate and headed for the door, brushing past him. She wanted to get away. Even if its just a few meters away, just as long as she doesn't see him. She didn't think she could take it.   
  
But he wasn't just going to let her go. He came back when he heard of Kenshin's passing away but he also saw this as an opportunity to finally resolve the things that had been bothering him ever since he left. That's why he went to her immediately upon his arrival.  
  
He reached out to her. His hand caught her wrist and he managed to make her look at him.  
  
  
***  
She found herself lost again in his eyes. They were what they were like before only they seemed deeper. They made her forget everything and remember it all at the same time.   
  
He felt his gaze rip through the very depths of her soul, and the tears she desperately fought back were threatening to fall.   
  
She didn't want him to see her cry so she slapped his hand away and ran to her house, slamming the door behind her. She went to her room. Leaning on her closed doors, she felt all her emotions crashing down at her again. She felt like they were weighing her down. She felt her knees get weak and she fell to the floor. She curled herself into ball and covered her mouth as she cried.  
  
  
***  
Sano was shocked at what happened. It's not like he expected her throw him a party or anything, but he never thought she'd be like this. He wondered if she hated him. Or if she just found him a nuisance like he felt she always did. More hurtful thoughts came to mind as he searched for reasons that can explain the coldness, unusual even for her, she showed him tonight.  
  
He was about to walk away when he heard muffled cries coming from inside her house.  
  
***  
She was crying like she never did in her life. She let go of everything she kept bottled up inside of her for 15 years.   
  
She can't hold anything back anymore. She can't keep any of her walls up.   
  
She was a strong woman, yes, but everyone had his or her limits. And she just went pass hers a little while ago.  
  
She didn't know exactly what she felt. She was confused, hurt and overwhelmed all at the same time. For a long time she wanted him to come back but now, she doesn't think she take it.   
  
She loves him yet she despises him. She didn't know what to do or how she should react anymore.  
  
She hates him for hurting her. Leaving her. _And for making her feel again._  
  
***  
She heard him come inside. She heard his footsteps as he came closer. She hugged herself tighter as if doing so would shield her from him.  
  
She closed her eyes as her doors started to open.  
  
  
***  
Sano was surprised to see Megumi lying on the floor. She looked.. so helpless. He cursed himself. He always said to himself that he would beat the crap out of anyone who would dare to hurt her. But here she was crying, and somehow he knew it was entirely his fault.   
  
He couldn't bear to see her like this. He bent and scooped her up, placing an arm behind her knees and the other supporting her back. He carried her in his arms like she was a child. And at the moment, she certainly felt as vulnerable as one.   
  
She was surprised at what he did. She wanted to break away from him. She didn't want him to pity her. She wanted to be alone right now.   
  
"Put me down you baka!" she started screaming, pounding on his chest and kicking at him.  
  
She started to hit him harder. Sano leaned on the wall to keep his balance. He closed his eyes, he wasn't gonna stop her.  
  
"baka! baka! baka! baka.." she said in between sobs. She felt herself getting weaker, but she kept on her futile attempt to make him let go of her. But the more she fought, the tighter he held her.  
  
He was holding her like he was clinging on for his life. Like he was making up for all the years he had left her alone.  
  
She did tire herself and just sobbed in his chest. When she seemed to have quieted down, he opened his eyes to look at her. He was surprised to see that she had fallen asleep.  
  
"baka.." he heard her whisper one last time.  
  
"I know."  
  
Kissing the top of her head, he whispered to her..  
  
"Gomen ne."   
  
_Maybe the little sparks he saw every time they argued actually meant something. And maybe the small flame he thought they had that night had not been an illusion. Maybe.. just maybe.. she felt something for him too._  
  


Owari

  
Ok so I don't know if I should rewrite this chap too. I tried to make this w/ less drama but it always ended up this way so I decided to just put this one up. I just want to finish it, I can't seem to begin a new fic w/out ending this one. Sorry if Meg was a little too emotional.. she was having a breakdown ^.^`` please review.. tell me if you don't like it -_- 


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